HEALTHY ATTACHMENT

Found this interesting info on signs of healthy attachment. So far, Nate has scored on nearly everything. We've been working with him regularly to help him bond with us. He's always been extremely cautious around people, esp strangers to him and would cry and cling to us. Lately he's been more accepting of people he sees all the time (like at church) or we prep him ahead of time if we go to visit someone he's not as familiar with. He's also been giving us more kisses and will come over and pat our shoulder or back like we do when we're hugging or comforting him. If I kiss Don, he runs over to me wanting a kiss too! Lately he's also been running over to me, wrapping his arms around my legs and gives me a hug..something he wouldn't do before. Here's the list of healthy signs below and how Nate scores.......

1. Joyful the majority of the time. (YES, SMILES/ LAUGHS)
2. Seeks out primary caregiver for comfort and to meet needs. (YES)
3. Likes to be cradled and held facing primary caregiver. (WHEN HE'S TIRED OR AFRAID...sometimes he likes a quick snuggle when he's playing and then he's good to go.)
4. Makes good eye contact with primary caregiver and initiates eye contact--both close & distant proximity. (MOST OF THE TIME)
5. When primary caregiver makes eye contact, the child smiles back, showing signs of being happy with the interaction. (YES)
6. Smiles and exhibits pleasure when seeing self in the mirror. (OH YES!)
7. Frequently engages in playful interactions with primary caregiver (interactions initiated by both parent and child.) (YES..LOVES IT WHEN WE PLAY WITH HIM)
8. Uses different cries to alert primary caregiver of needs and wants; easily consoled by primary caregiver. (YES)
9. Accepts limits placed by primary caregiver. (YES)
10. Willingly allows primary caregiver to hold bottle, hand feed, and nurture. (YES...WHEN HE WAS SMALLER)
11. Melts into primary caregiver when held; lays head on shoulder; holds on when held; faces primary caregiver rather than away. (WHEN HE'S TIRED OR IF WE'RE READING/ WATCHING A SHOW)
12. Enjoys cuddling, hugs, and kisses given by primary caregiver and initiates cuddling, hugs, and kisses without wanting something in return. (YES)
13. Can co-sleep without major difficulty. (NEVER DID THIS. HE SLEEPS THROUGH THE NIGHT IN HIS OWN CRIB...WAKES UP HAPPY)
14. Prefers primary caregiver to all others. (YES)
15. Imitates primary caregiver regularly (actions, language, etc.) (YES...MORE SO LATELY)
16. Content to sit on primary caregiver’s lap or stay in primary caregiver’s arms for an age appropriate amount of time. (YES)
17. Settles quickly when held by primary caregiver. (YES)
18. Enjoys skin on skin contact. (YES)
19. Prefers close proximity to primary caregiver but not in an anxious, desperate way. (YES)
20. Consistently sleeps well and peacefully. (MOST OF THE TIME. SOMETIMES HAS NIGHTMARES BUT IS COMFORTED QUICKLY)
21. Wants to please primary caregiver because he knows it will make his parent happy. (YES)
22. Reacts appropriately to pain; wants primary caregiver to nurture him when in pain or sick; easily consoled. (YES.NOW HE SAYS "HURT" AND WANTS ME TO KISS HIS "OWIE")
23. Uses food appropriately. Recognizes when hungry and full. (YES FOR HUNGRY BUT WILL EAT EVERYTHING EVEN IF IT'S TOO MUCH)
24. Shows true personality to primary caregiver and family and friends (discovering a child’s innate personality takes time.) (YES)
25. Initiates “sweet nothing” talk with primary caregiver. (YES..ALL THE TIME)
26. Shows appropriate stranger anxiety. (YES)
27. Displays age appropriate anxiety at brief separation from primary caregiver but is able to be reassured. (YES)
28. Reunites happily with primary caregiver with eye contact and physical contact. (ALMOST ALL THE TIME)
29. Show signs of feeling safe in social situations; able to play and interact with others, but stays close and checks in with primary caregiver regularly but not in an anxious or desperate way. (YES)
30. Is gentle to self and others. (YES, UNLESS ANOTHER CHILD TAKES AWAY HIS TOY!)
31. Gets along with other children & siblings most of the time. (YES..SAME AS ABOVE)
32. Is okay with primary caregiver leaving the room for short periods of time. Conversely, cares that primary caregiver has left the room and shows happiness when that person returns. (YES)
33. Speech/language skills are developing appropriately. (SLOWLY BUT SURELY)
34. Angry outbursts/tantrums are infrequent, short in duration. Parent can soothe child. (YES...ALMOST ALL THE TIME)
35. “Normal” discipline methods/parenting techniques are effective. (YES)
36. Child can identify his own feelings (at an age appropriate level.) (NOT SURE YET)
37. Child can identify the feelings of others (at an age appropriate level.) (WILL CRY IF ANOTHER CHILD IS CRYING)
38. Child can delay gratification (at an age appropriate level.) (NOT SURE WHAT THIS MEANS)