I didn't have very informative answers for all of you asking us questions about "this" & "that" concerning our adoption. SOOO...after emailing another couple traveling in our group, who has already adopted a baby from the same welfare center, she gave me some of the most helpful info about what to expect when get our child. *BLOG WARNIING*....this a very long email BUT print it out and read it during the tv commercials because it will give you a very good idea of our soon to be life. It will also help you understand why we have to do things differently than if we had a baby from birth. Happy reading!
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Denise,
Hope I can answer your questions, so here we go:
1. EATING: My first daughter Chloe was 9months old when we traveled. In 2004 Qianjiang did not have a foster care program in place, so she was cared for in the SWI. Our translated referral info stated that she received fruit paste as well as formula. However when we tried this I felt pretty sure she had never seen a spoon before. At that point we opted to leave her on formula until we got home. She then advanced pretty quickly to baby food and soft foods. In China they use bottles for a long time, so I would doubt that your son is using a sippy cup.
I did have two friends who traveled to adopt from China soon after I did in 2004 and both of their children were in foster care. My one friend's daughter was 13 months when they traveled. She was still using a bottle, but mostly ate table foods with her foster parents (congee, mashed fish, rice, soft veggies, eggs, etc...) They switched to regular milk when they got home and kept her on table foods--she has done well. My second friend's daughter was 8 months when they traveled and she was in foster care. She also used a bottle but was given the same types of table foods as the other child. They were never able to give her full strength american formula once they got home because it gave her diarrhea. The most she was ever on was 2/3 strength. She refused "baby food" but ate table foods well. My daughter only ever received half strength formula in the SWI which they fortified with liver and vegetable rice cereal and baby food carrots mixed in the bottle to make up for nutritional needs. She did like her formula very hot (hotter than we americans would ever give a baby). Some places in china add sugar to the formula as well.
The SWI used very plain regular bottles with the holes in the nipples enlarged. We took playtex disposable bottles with tri cut nipples and she did great. She was able to regulate the flow through the nipple herself and the bottles don't leak. The tricut nipple did great with the thick formula/rice cereal combo and didn't get clogged. We bought formula in China and brought enough home so we could transition her slowly. We also made sure to buy all the formula we needed in Chongqing before we left. It was a good thing we did because they didn't have the same kind available on Shaiman island and we didn't have to put her tummy through an extra formula change. Pretty much all the formula, rice cereal, and baby foods are available in China. The only thing to pack if you are so inclined are Cherrios (very very expensive in China--go figure) or Gerber puffs.
2. HEALTH-WISE: Chloe came to us overall healthy with clear skin. She did have a small cold as did all of the babies from the SWI. They shared this crud with their new families so be sure to pack your cold meds of choice and possibly antibiotics for the grown ups as well as the baby. None of our babies had any of the "cootie" type things they warn you about--scabies, lice, etc... Thank goodness. As far as behavior, Chloe was very reserved. Not much crying, but shut down easily when overstimulated. She would just go to sleep when she was overwhelmed and that continued once we got home. She fell asleep ten minutes after we got her while we were still in civil affairs office--she was totally overwhelmed with the events that were going on. She even slept through the fingerprint/signing of documents.
Our roughest time were at night when it was bedtime. That's when she did her greiving/crying. After a couple of days things were much easier and she really opened up to us. They seemed to learn quickly who the mommies and daddies are and preferred them even to our guides(who are wonderful by the way). I carried Chloe the whole trip in an infant carrier, she seemed to like the contact. Strollers are readily available as well. My friends who got their daughters from foster families said that there was quite a bit of crying the first two days or so and then thing got much better. Their daughters were developmentally on target and even advanced which is great. Chloe was fairly delayed as she couldn't sit at 9 months and her legs had very low tone. She caught up in no time at all once we got her. I truly believe the SWI gave the babies the best care they were able and the children seemed loved by their caregivers.
3. PACKING: First trip we packed too many clothes for the grown ups. There will be clothes for boys available for purchase in Chongqing, but on Shaiman island the clothing stores are filled with wonderful dresses. Not thinking your hubby will go for that :) As far as baby essentials my favorites were disposable bibs and disposable baby washclothes containing hair/body wash. Very easy. We did need a thermos and luckily had brought one as well as a lexan bottle to store cooled water (fill both with cherrios etc.. so you don't feel like you're wasting space in your suitcase. Back to the thermos--we bought a thermos brand briefcase bottle at target and it was perfect. There are other brands available but at least you can see what we brought to get an idea. I also had disposable dishclothes with soap inside. Bring a set of chopsticks or tongs as you will be washing your bottle nipples in boiling/boiled hot water in the ice bucket. We did pack some toys for the baby, but Chloe didn't know what to do with them--she learned quickly though.
4. COMING HOME: We had my mom pick us up from the airport. I don't think the idea of friends meeting you is bad but I would keep things short. The trip home is long and I know we were all three sick with colds coming home as well as exhausted.
5. ADJUSTING AT HOME: I did keep Chloe home for a couple of weeks except for pediatrician appointments. Churches (and grocery stores) are places that people go even when they don't feel 100% healthy. I'm sure the entire congregation has been watching your journey and can't wait to celebrate with you and see the baby. The only thing to remember is that the germs in China are totally different than they are here so you son is essentially like a newborn regarding exposure. By the way, if you haven't already guessed, I'm a nurse who specializes in neonatal intensive care. My brother is also a head pastor of a church and I've grown up in church my whole life so I know what church families are all about as well as how important they are.
6. GRIEVING/BONDING: The most important thing to remember is that our beautiful babies' lives change completely in one day. We have had two years to prepare for this moment, but they have no way of being prepared for such a drastic change. We just have to reach deep inside ourselves and combine our unconditional love and extreme patience to help them through this very stressful time. It's funny that we are going to experience one of the most important times in our lives with complete strangers, but yet we have a common bond. You will be amazed how the group will work together and support each other throughout this experience.
