THINGS TO PONDER

God has been giving me a faith test lately. Do I really believe and live the faith I practice? Our church has a group of mature women called The Kings Ladies. They meet monthly and raise money for various missions. Every year they exchange Secret Sisters (like secret pals) and choose new ones at Christmas. I usually participate because many of the women are widows and I enjoy doing kind things for them throughout the year. This year, I had to leave the Christmas lunch early but told a friend to draw a Secret Sister name for me. That Sunday, she handed me the name she drew.

My heart sunk as I read the slip of paper. It was the name of someone who has caused us and a few others in our church a great deal of emotional pain. I stared at the paper, unbelief washing over me and chuckling sadly at the irony of it. "God, are you kidding me????" I was not appreciating his sense of humor. My mother-in-law asked me if I felt God matched me up with that person for a reason. I mean face it.....there are several ladies who participate in this and out of ALL of them, I got the one person that I don't exactly "feel the love for" at this moment.

Over the next few weeks, I wrestled with my emotions on this. Several times, I felt like calling up my friend and telling her, "I can't do this...trade me for someone else." I know that's probably appalling coming from a pastor's wife but I am no less human than anyone else and I struggle with my humanness constantly. Things have gotten worse with this person, not better lately and I nearly made my decision not to go through with it last week. However.............

..........God placed many words on my heart this week. His words that I've been reading all my life came back to me, "Love your enemies", "If someone takes the shirt off your back, give them your coat also", "Love others the same as you would yourself", and even more so, the story of the master who forgave his servant's debts only to find out that the servant threw someone else in prison who owed him. I realized that as much as my family has been hurt, I cannot return that hurt. I have to rise above my emotions and the situation. How can I say that I believe in Christ's love and sacrifice if I'm not showing it? Christ already chose to forgive me after I had hurt him and I would be no better than the "selfish servant" if I chose not to forgive people in my life.

And so I have made my choice....not out of guilt or duty....but out of my love for others and my love for Christ. I will continue to be this person's Secret Sister and shower her with the same kindness that I have for others in the past. And I thank God for convicting me to understand more fully the sacrifice of love that he gave for us.