1..2...3....MELTDOWN!

To all my friends who have children older than 3.........I apologize for anything I may have said in regards to their behavior or your parenting. Even with a generally well-behaved child like Nate, I didn't know what the heck I was talking about until I had my own. I also apologize to my parents...especially mom, for wreaking havoc as a child (my brother and I fought like crazy...but we love each other now. ha)

Now that I do officially have a toddler, I am annoyed and amazed by some of the comments we get when Nate acts up in public. I suppose it's payback in a way. ha. He could simply be crying as we're holding his hands and walking and we've had people shake their heads and say stuff like, "Oh, the POOR little thing!" or "Oh he's REALLY mad!" like we were torturing him or something. I think most people forget that toddlers are going to throw tantrums in public (unless they have small children)...that's just how they are learning to deal with their world.

Or maybe they see Nate's big cheeks and his small size and feel more pity for him when, heaven forbid, we are walking with him and just holding his hand. He has been resisting hand holding but if we don't, it's too tempting for him to dart off across a parking lot or through a store and I do have a mom-instinct to keep my kid from getting killed or kidnapped. I guess they think we should pick him up every single time he cries when he doesn't get his way. Sometimes, we have had to put him in time out in public and Holy Cow! You should hear the comments then! "He's too little to be disciplined like that!" "You shouldn't be putting him time out!" I seem to remember vintage illustrations of little toddler kids standing in a corner or with their face turned to the wall. What happened to caring enough about your kids to discipline them? I know if let him get away with negative behavior in public, it will teach him to disrespect us and others, outside of the house. He's too young to understand the "Wait till we get home" threat and I don't believe in threats anyway.

We've found that having him stand and face the wall....even for just a minute is very fast and effective for Nate. But he has to be facing the wall or he gets too distracted and it doesn't get the point across. When he's done, he can re-focus and listen to our instructions better. If we can't find a bathroom or quiet place to do this we have to take him to the car. His loud crying can get to people who aren't used to having toddlers. All kids are different and we had to find what worked with Nate. Boys also respond differently than girls....I used to think (pre-kid days) that one way worked for all kids. Wrong!

I've heard other things like distracting them, etc. Sorry, this doesn't work with Nate. He's too smart to pull one over on him. If he's tired or hungry, I might carry him or offer him a snack AFTER he chooses to stop crying. I never reward his crying or tantrums with food. That just teaches him that he can get whatever he wants if he justs cries for it. People have actually TRIED to offer him food when he's having a meltdown and it just made him even MORE mad! haha.

These toddler years are the foundation to shape our kids when they get older. If they don't learn boundaries, respect, how to follow instructions, and self-control during these years, it will impact them negatively as they become older. So I admire and respect parents who love and care enough about their kids who have and had the foresight, risking unpopularity, to train and discipline them during the toddler years. We keep in mind the future goal of raising kids who are leaders with integrity and who also have God's heart and love for others.