TOO MUCH FREEDOM

I was trying to figure out why Nate has been spending more time than usual in timeouts lately. Don and I started looking at his daily routine and realized we are allowing him too many decision making "freedoms". More than he is capable of handling at 20 months. There's a book called "ToddlerWise" that's written by the Ezzos, a Christian couple who also wrote the "Growing Kids God's Way" series. One of the things they talk about is if you give a child more freedom than they can handle you will start seeing certain behavior problems. Another mom who also expands on the "BabyWise" books had this to add:

Does your child debate? Does he fall apart when an impulsive desire is denied? Does your child struggle to submit to instruction? Does he do what you ask, but do less than you asked for? If so, it is likely he has too many freedoms for his age.

Nate is exhibiting ALL of these behaviors. When we re-evaluated his daily routine, we realized we were allowing him to have free rein of the house, play with whatever toys he wanted and not always requiring him to clean up afterwards. All of this requires him to make constant decisions on what to do each day. He's relying on us for boundaries and structure and if we don't provide it, he'll have to make decisions that he's not capable of handling at this age.

I don't know why we get out of routine so easily, but let me tell you...these kids are sharp and their behavior is a reflection of what we do or don't do. Nate's behavior problems are because of us, not him. So...back to a better and more structured routine and I know we'll see a happier little boy.